Flying Books
by Le Rouge du Sang
Summary: Sirius Black hates flying books. They are incredibly stupid. And so are werewolves. And angry women.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Flying Books

Author: Rose Raven Riddle

Pairing: None

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, except the plot.

"Hey. Hey Remus."

Silence.

"Remus."

More silence.

"Remus. Remus. Remus. Re-"

"WHAT!? What is it that is so important that you feel the need to interrupt me while doing homework?"

"I just wanted to say hi."

A book went flying through the air.

"Oi! That barely missed my head."

Another book aimed at him. This time it didn't miss.

"Stupid flying books and stupid werewolves with good throwing arms." Sirius grumbled under his breath.

"Now now, Black. To be honest, you deserved it." James walked in, grinning.

"I did not. And since when are we referring to each other by our last names? Do I have to call you Potter? How about Pothead?" Sirius looked at James, thinking about prospective names.

"I think it makes me look more mature. You know to impress Lily. And if you dare call me that in public, I will string you up by your--"

"But I quite like the last one, James Pothead. It has a bit of a ring to it. Don't you think, Remus?" He turned around to find no one there.

"Remus?" He turned around.

"James?" No one.

"Huh, I wonder where all my friends have gone? Most of all I wonder what I'm doing here, alone, talking to myself."

"GET AWAY!" Sirius turned just in time to see a very fast Mister James Potter run through the Common Room away from a very angry looking Miss Lily Evans. Another book went flying through the air, yet again hitting Sirius in the face.

Now if one were to glance into the Gryffindor Common Room, they would see Sirius Black attacking a book while screaming something about "Stupid flying books" and it would appear that he has finally lost his mind.

But we all know that isn't true.

Right?

Right?!


	2. Chapter 2

I was thinking that this would only be a oneshot thing. But I had so much fun writing this in my pixie-stix and caffeine induced highs.

Right, anyway, thank you to those who reviewed.

I think I might continue this, but it truly depends on whether I have more ideas or if people like this. Honestly, this is the most fun story I've written and I hope to write more.

-Chapter 2 -

"I dunno. I mean she was definitely displaying some rampaging hippogriff-like qualities, James." Sirius smirked.

"She wa-- wait, what? Rampaging hippogriff-like qualities? Lily?" James raised an eyebrow at Sirius's choice of words.

"Yeah. You know, as in when a hippogriff gets angry and runs towards you. Like that." Sirius massaged his head from where the book hit him earlier. Twice.

"I know what a rampaging hippogriff looks like, Sirius, thanks. But my Lily does not look like that. She's beautiful. A perfect angel. And she--"

"Please, man. My dinner is starting to come back up." He stopped James, noticing that his eyes were beginning to glaze over. That's odd. Is that normal?

"James? James?!" Sirius started shaking James, in hopes it would wake him. No such luck.

"Is it customary for best friends to attempt to murder each other?" A female voice spoke from behind the two friends.

Sirius turned to see red hair, belonging to a girl who also owned two green eyes. She also happened to own a nose and a mouth, but that's besides the point.

"Lily?" James snapped out of his dream trance just to enter another trance.

"Is it customary for you to send my best friend into a love-induced trance every time you walk in front of him?" Sirius moved a bit so that Lily could sit in between the two friends. More convenient to duck if more flying books showed up.

She laughed, "I do believe it is," James sighed, "what, may I ask you two were discussing?"

"Oh. James was just talking about you."

"Is that so?" Lily smiled at James, who happened to tune in at the mention of his name in front of Lily.

"Yeah. Something about how you displayed rampaging hippogriff-like qualities earlier today." Sirius got up and ran before the thought registered in Lily's head.

The next day, a new guy walked into the Great Hall. Black and blue all over, with scratches.

"So it got really hot and heavy last night, huh, James? I heard you screaming back in the dorms." Sirius grinned as his best friend sat down across from him.

At that very moment the mail started arriving. An owl, carrying a book, decided to dive and hit Sirius in the head.

The poor boy must be cursed.


End file.
